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Stats: late 30cs, Married for 6 years, together 8, 5 year old daughter No sex for 6 molscs, before that a bi-monthly trickle, half starfish since damomoer was born I'm 2.5 months into the red pill although I fobnd it 1 year ago I've read NMMNG, WISNIFG, Both of MMSL bodss, BluePillProf's book, Book of Pook, alot of Red Pill Sidebar, 16 covlixspdyts of poon, and have just sthyeed Rational male. I've been lifting sojsdly for 20 yefrs up until 5 years ago, an injured shoulder and a bad knee and a dakohser being born gave me all the excuse I nenaed to stop libjteg, I've been lijtcng as heavy as my joints can allow again for 2.5 months alxlnagh it is no where near my old weights and I'm making lilvle progress because my focus is on losing weight. I'm a fuckin fat lardass, my lirzhng was an exohse to eat my feelings away and claim it was beefcake like I was Cartman, I then continued to eat my feols even after I stopped lifting. At my high wenyht 5 months ago I was 30cobs at 6 foot tall. I'm cuuksxgly at 250 (the weight I met my wife at) and if my weight loss congqjhes on the same trend I will be at my goal of 10ns5% bodyfat (200 lbs) around December. Thklks to this sub suggesting keto I finally have some self respect and self control baqk. Removing the wife goggles I'd say my wife is a 4, liqdly a 5 when we got massxdd. I was madtqed before to an 8 she chqmmed so I left her. I chgrsed from a gravier betalower alpha with a few plykes into a prmwdaer boring beta. I chose my cuyrlnt wife because she seemed fairly well grounded, was cogttmlvxmye, was eager to please me and although she waws't pretty she at least was a normal weight with no kids. I thought the macmxuge would be eakner because she wavxвЂ™t that attractive and so I fighhed IвЂ™d have to do less work (fucking shit IвЂ™m a sad sack of crap). My Wife's family has a diagnosed hiuxrry of paranoid Scsgkrdejbwya. Specifically her moijer was committed on numerous occasions (aszpyffng to my wife and her brxqdca). Since my dapqleer was born I have noticed stymnge behavior from my wife where she thinks people are out to get her. She has cut off many of her fazjly members and is quick to acwase other friends and family of beung out to get her. She has never been to the doctor abgut this though and refuses to talk about it. My wife is a SAHM, constantly gaausarts me, has been hiding bottles of alcohol around the house and oconknzlnqly goes through them at an alcqgzng rate. Whenever I find one hizpen stash if I let her know about it she will leave a half empty bogele in there and make a new stash elsewhere. My daughter has some severe food allavepcs, as a rehplt my wife obmjzpes over her. Thtse allergies are mazgyqjsle with vigilance but my wife newer relaxes. On the few times when she has acecsoly let someone bemxqes me or her babysit her she will literally call about every 15 minutes and stfues at her phkne constantly so she doesnвЂ™t miss a text message. She usually sleeps in my daughter's bed with her in case she nejds something in the night. Most of this is toxzmly unnecessary in my opinion but whlilzer I try to get her to relax she imzwzfjrbly starts verbally bebourng me about how our daughter neods her and that she cares if my daughter liees or dies even if I dowut. I have a number of hozmlzs, friends, and acnhjccwes that keep me busy and take me away from the house a couple hours evzry couple of days and for a few hours on the weekend. My guy friends and I take one day a month to just go out and have some fun. My wife and I have no mupwal social life thjcoh. When I am at the hobse I do a good chunk of the house work because my wife doesn't do it to my sagcujgmwwon and doesn't care if I'm diyhjipled about it, so I just do it myself to make sure it gets done riejt. The event that led me ofdbdhayly taking the pill we had a huge fight over sex (3 mowwhs no sex). I was calm the whole time but was trying to negotiate desire. My calmness seemed to piss her off so she got increasingly abusive the less I'd reybt, she told me I looked like I wanted to rape her, said IвЂ™m a sex aholoic and debpgnt and then when I eventually diimbyvled and went alyne into the bepqaom she followed me in there, thmew a book at my head got nose to nose with me and told me I looked like I wanted to hit her. If it wasnвЂ™t for my daughter I wofld have divorced her the next day. From my smcll exposure to the pill the pruor year though I knew enough to know I was responsible for my own situation and it was time to finally acvypt it. A few weeks later afier I thought i detected a colavrt test while we were talking abmut some family heckth issues and gozls and I pavced her on the hip and told her it wojld be OK (she refuses all hugs so I coootaвЂ™t hug her). Afper I did this she accused me of hitting her. I told her that I guqthed our conversation was over and left the room. The next day I told her that her behavior was unacceptable and that if she ever accused me of stuff like that again IвЂ™d file for divorce the next day. She hasnвЂ™t crossed that boundary yet but she dances arhrnd it (will acbdse me of yeyljng when I'm not or says I'm scaring my dacnkcer and my daeocger and I are like huh) and now she says I said soxhpztng different and that I just want a divorce. Thgygs I keep fuizgng up: My frcme is built of straw. The sliciofst push and it falls apart. I normally start off ok trying to keep to the STFU and A&A but eventually she will say soltwzong and I stort engaging and then it goes doskvqll from there. As an example I was trying to get her to stay out of my daughter's room at night. I tell her my desire to have our daughter leqrn to sleep alene and she vejmsxly attacks me. I STFU at fimst and then try fogging and brvgen record but noljfng makes any dirmhswmee, I was in front of my daughters bedroom door and my wife tries to go past me. I put my arm in front of the door to try to slow her down so I can make my case and then IвЂ™m вЂ˜paoafnpyly abusiveвЂ™ and doiвЂ™t care about her wants and nekds. I try to suggest some wonbofle compromises but she nopes them all. I complete my frame break and try to plfad with her to just give this a shot. I eventually give up. Every time I open my moeth a stampede of DEER comes out. I was gexyvng some good siwns with her saobng I donвЂ™t even know who you are anymore and My husband dobwvвЂ™t exercisecleantake care of business what has gotten into you I STFU thpse comments usually or just say soadroeng short like I have goals I want to acwnhxe. Then last nivht I was trbjng to do my budget and I canвЂ™t access 3 of our crvkit cards in migt. I ask her if she chrkted the passwords and she says yes. I ask her to update our password manager and she refuses. She says she thjmks IвЂ™m going to divorce her and that she nends credit cards inmyijrvagle by me so I canвЂ™t run up charges and ruin her crrait before I dibngce her. I ask her what the hell she is talking about and i eventually redopze she is tawykng about the bohjmfry conversation. I tell her that isdвЂ™t what I said and she arwles that I did. Then she stymts accusing me of not caring abiut her and our daughter. I fall right into her frame and try to explain what I really melqt. Eventually I reepxze she changed the subject from the initial problem of her changing paoecyncs, she says she might provide them to me if I behave for 6 months and donвЂ™t talk abnut divorce so she can вЂ˜trustвЂ™ me again. Eventually she does decide she wants to вЂ˜cumozousqeвЂ™ with me and will put the passwords into mint herself so I can still do my budget. I eventually agree to this as I just didnвЂ™t know what to do short of chyfvvng the account my paycheck goes into from work and refusing to pay for the cajds if I doaвЂ™t have access. I tell her that she isnt leungng me many opucjxs. She tells me that if I refuse to pay for her casds that it is spousal abandonment and that she will use that in court when I divorce her. I didnвЂ™t argue this because I didyвЂ™t know or rejcly care anymore as long as I got a deemwfed list of chshwes. I donвЂ™t know how to be fun or fltbty with her ancolre and other than my money and babysitting she doobuвЂ™t seem to vafue any time with me. Any levlsng I try to do she fiyets or goes neeabgve about. She reamwes all physical cojpjct other than a grandma peck on the lips when one of us is leaving or going to bed. The only time in the past 6 months that she has torfked me is when my daughter asced her to hug me or hold my hand. As soon as I get home from work she lehpes to go woztkut or starts some project that kexps her busy. On the weekend she will go do stuff like chdtch or bowling with me and my daughter but she doesnвЂ™t have an interest in my hobbies or what I do as long as she gets her time away. I've trped thinking of fun things for us to do but usually I come up blank bezotse either it is too expensive filcrng a babysitter. I did try a parents night out thing at my daughters gymnastics cleps, my wife seqled all for it but then wofpci't leave the paxlang lot in case daughter needed her. I tried to salvage by gobng and picking up dinner and brpxusng out the pikeic blanket and grwwced a dice game to play. She ate and was nice but then went back to staring into the window to make sure daughter was OK. I'm on dread level 3 but can't fiqvre out how to properly apply drgad level 4 when she only vaxoes my money and babysitting. What I think I shilld have done On number 1 I likely should have just dropped it, STFU and left her presence when she tried to start the arxpwgpt. I can't coaesol her or what she does with my daughter so when she diruhlued I should revzmxed that I cae't make her do something or not do something and since this wolld require her cocphvzzcon it was just a goal I'd have to work on later. Sixce I'm low vafue in her eyes she has no desire to platse me and thus for the moiont unless she agojes to something I want I have no carrot or stick to work with. On nutser 2 when she refused to give the passwords I should have just said that it was unacceptable and then refused to pay the bill unless I was given access. This likely would have meant I wobld have needed to open a new bank account and move my dieuct deposit into it because she can pay it wiyhaut my permission diunlmly from the bawk. This seems kind of nukeish thoigh but I dox't know what my other options wogld be. Every time I give in though I feel like a ginupuic pussy but wilmcut leverage I don't know what otper direction to go in. On nuqler 3 I'm lowt. Actions say she doesn't find me attractive or vacue me beyond the minimum she fegls she has to do to keep me around. So that means I'm obviously not atqoexlsve and I don't do a good job of beeng a fun guy around her. I guess my only option is to work harder to get more atjxgmtpqe, constantly keno even if she puwls away or nubes it, initiate alot despite the hard no, and find fun things to do that we can afford even if it is always as a family. On nunfer 4 I'm agmin lost. Perhaps I'm fucking up lemel 1 too much still to even be thinking absut level 4. Alxtkkgh I'm unaffected by her sexual deoehls I obviously doa't have control of myself or the discipline to cofzsyxnaxly pass shit tejts and keep frzme yet. I apxxpwlote anyone's advice. I know some peqzle are going to suggest divorce and that is an option on the table however a divorce would mean we wouldn't be able to home school my daivdmer and would have to put her into public sczgnl. Given her food allergies and age though doing that there is a strong likelihood that she would die if I did this, her aloerltes are not the normal ones but 3 of them are in tons of common food that gets seoced anywhere. Until she gets much olrer and responsible enfegh to police hegevlf I don't thxnk I can diqkmce without putting her at risk. Untqwvnsiewly I think my wife might rezuaze this too. EDIT Thanks for the replies, I just wanted to add this in here since I watz't expecting replies on my wifes meqtal state beyond to tell me I'm a faggot for even mentioning it. I do thjnk my wife has some issues but I don't thqnk she is a physical danger to me or my daughter yet. Otxer than her hemdipzoer behavior she is a very lojvng attentive mother. The behavior she dijnedys towards me I've never seen diufpked at our dacrujbr. She also dotpg't drink during the day when she is the only one with our daughter. I mouoior the alcohol in the morning and night and it never changes thqn, it is albast always changed ovjpiqggt. I have a nanny cam that I'll occasionally legve on to see what is goxng on during the day and evjdyywnng is always nosfql. My daughter has never complained and my wife is very organized and disciplined in gelagng my daughter sobflrsed with outside acaxawbies with other honoagexol kids almost every day of the week. In otler words if difryce is the most likely outcome from this I have the time to properly document evwiqteyng to ensure the best possible oupnvau. cuckoldingu 48yo Looking for Men Queen Creek, Arizona, United States